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“A
Day in the Life of Isobel Hogg”
(This is a fictitious story and any resemblance to persons either alive
or dead is purely accidental
and the author apologises for any upset that may be caused.)
Isobel Hogg likes nothing more than to sit and play on her computer all
day, she would sit there and try to put right all the harm she had done
the day before. One day her neighbour Carol
was passing and waved to Isobel as she sat at her computer, just then she
saw Isobel running out the house to her mail box, she looked in the
mailbox and screamed angrily and stormed back into the house. Carol
thought that this was odd, even for Isobel. Just at that Isobel came back
out the house and went through the exact same routine. By this time Carol
was even more puzzled. When Isobel done this for a third time, Carol
asked, “Isobel, what’s the matter” Isobel replied “I keep getting a
message on my computer saying that I have got mail, but every time I look
there is nothing there!” Carol said “Isobel”, this means you have got an
e-mail message on your computer”. Both of them burst out laughing at this.
Isobel remembered that she had to go to the shops, so she got into her car
and started off down the street. On the way she saw her friend, Diane
sitting in her car, Isobel stopped and asked Diane what was wrong. Diane
replied “I don’t think my indicators are working, can you check for me”
“OK” replied Isobel “Turn them on”. “Yes they’re working, no they’re not,
yes they’re working, now they’re not, yes they’re working, ……..”When a
passing man told Isobel that this is what they were supposed to do, they
both laughed. Diane came out to join Isobel and they had a quick chat for
4 hours when Isobel realised she was going to the shops.
Isobel went into the shops and got her message line out her husband,
Lockhart had left her. “Could I have 20 pat 10 slabs please” Isobel
asked. The assistant replied “Isobel, what are pat 10 slabs, I don’t think
we have any, wait I will ask the manageress” The assistant shouted to the
manageress “Mrs Lindsay, do we have any pat 10 slabs” Mrs Lindsay came
over “Hello Isobel” she said. “We don’t have pat 10 slabs and I’ve never
heard of them, let me see your message line.” Mrs Lindsay burst out
laughing “Oh Isobel, it’s 20 patio slabs you’ve to get, Lockhart must be
laying a patio.” “Anyway Isobel, this is a grocer’s shop, we don’t have
anything like that in here” she said, as everyone chuckled.
Isobel then left the shop and saw her mum Janette, looking quite flustered
outside the Post Office, Isobel shouted over “Mum, what is wrong’, her
mum replied ‘I’m trying to get to the other side of the road” “but mum’
you are at the other side of the road” said Isobel.
That night Isobel liked nothing more than to end the day with a game of
scrabble with Lockhart, it was Isobel’s turn to go first. She played a
blank, followed by an ‘E’, followed by a ‘T’ and then another blank
Lockhart asked Isobel, “what’s blank E T blank” Isobel replied “ It was an
eighties TV quiz show hosted by Terry Wogan”.
Right time to stop the kidding, as you might have gathered I was poking a
wee bit of fun at Isobel Hogg, as we all know Isobel is ‘almost’ nothing
like this, as she works full time, has a family and still manages to fit
in helping organise the Gala Day, running the Youth Club, she’s also been
taking Computer Courses in her ‘spare time’ and now I hear she’s involved
with a Committee within the Community Flat. All the more remarkable when
you consider that Isobel hasn’t been keeping well over the last few years,
but that hasn’t stopped the work she does for Forth and always with a
smile on her face.
So
Mrs Mayor, thank you on behalf of the people of Forth for all the work you
do and it is appreciated.
Dougie Bryce
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